What to expect

Hey Guys!
Sooo, next week as I mentioned a few posts I am getting my posting schedule together. And I haven't announced what I will be posting.

So I wanted to tell you what you'll be expecting when you tune in on Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. I was gonna make a pretty picture posting that but to be honest that would take me forever.

And when I asked my self "what do you wanna post?" I couldn't come up with an answer, I love a lot of things and since I'm very artistic person I don't feel inspired if I'm just sticking to one thing.

Wednesday- Writing and Obsessions
Okay so Wednesday will be fun to post on. I will be posting some of my adventures in writing/self publishing. As well as some things that I love like music,t.v, movies, people, books. really anything that inspires me and my unicorn brain...

Friday- Beauty, Inspiration and Lifestyle.
I often find my self inspired by the beauty section on Pinterest. Hair, make up, fashion. You name it. I usually get a bunch of photos from Pinterest and post them here.  I also may use this day to post somethings from my life, I take a lot of pictures and I think this would be a great place to share them. I also change my hair a lot and am always on the look out for inspiration. :)

Sunday- Personal Life updates.
I want to have a day where we both sit down with a cup of coffee as I share some life updates
and stories I have,

If you have things that you wanna see or any suggestions comment them down below.

To Miss California

         Yesterday when I was at the doctor's office with my mom I sat in the waiting room which was filled with patients waiting to be seen by their doctors. I normally don't pay any attention to the TV's because its either Day's of our lives or Deal or no deal. But The Talk had been playing when we had finally found a seat and sat down. 

Aside from the first word issues that filled the screen like Bobby Brown talking about Whitney Huston's death the hosts of the show started talking about the Miss America pageant. I never pay attention to them because I think there are more important things to focus on in this world than that. But something caught my attention. One of the contestants Miss California made this comment when asked

 "How do we narrow the gap between the rich and the poor?"

And after stumbling on her words and taking a shaky deep breath she said:

 "I think that the rich need to be able to be giving and I think the poor need to work hard and I think the middle class need to come together and find an in-between."

My jaw dropped to the floor, I tried to write it off, tried to ignore it. I was sitting in the only health care center in Savannah that takes government health care. Surrounded by people who are barely scrapping by, people who can't work because of disabilities. The words kept rolling in my head. 

The poor have to work hard? 

Do you even know how stupid and out of touch that makes you sound? 

The thing you never see is what the hard work the "poor" do because at the end of the month it recycles to the next month. The "hard" work we do is so we can pay rent, car insurance, phone bills, food and  take care of our families and a thousand other things. You don't see that because our work has become our LIFE. Most of this didn't ask for this, we didn't have it coming and it's not because we don't work hard enough. I was raised by a single mother who worked her ass off so we could have a roof, food, clothes and a education. She sent her two older children off to college after she homeschooled/graduated them both and raised/educated my sister and I. She did all of this while disabled/on disability.

So I'm sorry but I can't look at you and your thousands of dollars worth of make-up/costumes and take that statement and laugh it off like you tried to.

"Why can't the USA see, I don't know about the economy?"

No, no, you have a point you don't. Because some are born with a silver spoons placed on the dinner table and some are born with plastic. 

And I hate to break it to you but there is no middle class, there is rich and there is poor. 

I hope that I live to see the day where I don't feel measured on my worth and hard work because of a number in my bank account. 

. 

I am here

I hope that your Sunday is going well, I hope it was filled with laughter and someone you care about.
My day went okay, had one of those days that I hope I had gotten more done.. But one thing that I have one my list was to write this post. I have been hellbent on following through with this posting schedule.

The question? What do I talk about? I mean my day was really uneventful. I went to the gym, picked up sandwich bags at the store and have been at home watching Happy Valley on Netflix.
One thing I want to address is that I write what I feel in the moment, so if I come off I certain way that isn't how I feel all the time, actually I'm a very hopeful/positive person. In fact it is one of my downfalls, in fact I think it comes off as a mask to hid what I'm feeling. I use this blog as a place to vent, it's a place I feel safe.

I mean no one deals with the challenges life gives you one way, we all handle our problems the best we know how and I just don't give up, I can't. But I still feel, and if you're feeling something anything that makes you not want to get up tomorrow, know that you and I will keep fighting for a better day. I'm thankful to have my mom and sister who drag me out of bed and make me face the day.

I'm going to work on better more interesting post, I have been trying to plan upcoming post for next week. I still don't know what I want to do with this blog. I have so many ideas that I get overwhelmed.

I hope you're doing okay, and know that I'm here, and not just in a sentimental way I sincerely from my whole heart mean it.

I'm not going to stop dreaming.

There are a lot of things that happen in a persons life. Some talk about what has happened to them, a lot keep to themselves. I am the kind of person who keeps to herself when something happens. And I don't want to get sappy or preachy or whatever. But these past four years have not been what I've expected when I moved to Georgia. I expected a new start, high school diploma, my book being published, perfect health, health of my sister and mom and to get back on our feet after having the life we had back in PA. Very little on that list has happened and honestly I'm so tired of hiding it, it sucks. It's like I have a thousand pounds strapped to my chest. I may have said that in other posts but I deleted most of them because I've hated what I've put out there, the post I have write a few months ago, I feel even though I kinda hate reading them I feel like I'm not hiding myself and when I am hiding I can tell.
You guys are going to see more of me, no it may not always be pretty but when has fighting for the life/dream/ family/health you want ever been pretty?
No I'm not always going to be upset or angry, there will be happiness/beauty on here, but I hate to tell real life isn't white backgrounds and fairy lights. That life, that dream you have will never be easy, it's your battle, your victory to win. I'm here to let you know if you're fighting a battle, I'm here fighting mine and we can fight together.
And don't worry guys I'm still funny. I tend to laugh at my jokes more than anyone else.
I also have this month planned out in my calendar on my phone because holds me accountable and I don't want to mess this up. I will be posting three times a week, Weds, Fri and Sun. I'm still planning out what I will be posting. Details will come soon, but for now I going to leave it there.
Thank you for stopping by, I hope I didn't depress you.
I love you very much,
InsideMehHead.

I'm not a beauty blogger nor am I a hair blogger, these are just a pictures that make my inner unicorn happy.

So being apart of the teen rip tide I tend to have a long, love hate relationship with my hair. I'm also very artistic, and since I can't draw very well I use my hair as a canvas. I know, I know everyone with crazy hair says that. Unfortunately with money being non-existent, I have been filling my Pinterest board with pictures that inspire the crap out of me. I'm not a beauty blogger nor am I a hair blogger, these are just a pictures that make my inner unicorn happy.  I tried my hand at "styling" the pictures with different elements. 

**Disclaimer, I do NOT own any of these, I found them all on Pinterest. :)

Today's theme? Green/blue/mint/ whatever sneaks in there.

Where she's flown.

This week I have been kinda been living my life through pictures, and since yesterday was filled with a long terrible commute downtown in the Georgia heat, taking a nap and chipping my tooth on popcorn. I didn't know what to write so I though I'd post some pictures, some are from deep in my phone, some were taken recently. So as I'm watch The Strain I'm putting this together, I would have had it up last night but Jordan reminded me I had to watermark my pictures.  Which took the whole day.

Exactly...

Here are my unicorn travels:

This is a trail close to meh house. I  Haven't been able to walk, like pull myself off of the couch long enough to put my shoes on and walk so when I did I had to take a picture to celebrate the occasion.




Here we have me rocking the  kung-fu master style. I'm a black belt, no big deal. I ran around the house singing "everybody was kung-fu fighting, HI-YA!"

This is a side road that comes after you cross the bridge going to Tybee Island.




Somehow I take my best pictures in cemeteries, this was after I volunteered at Bonaventure, I was so hot and gross that day but my mom managed to take some awesome pictures, she's a pro.

Another bridge shot, I think it's becoming my thing, I have a ton more on my phone.



And to wrap it up is my "self portrait". My hair was fading into pink and I though why not take a picture. Turns out this ended up being my favorite  picture of my self.








Okay, so this was different from my normal Emo-corn posts, but I liked it even thought it took me forever to get it together, well I will try to pull together another post, until then I hope you guys have a awesome minute, day and week.

Let's chat with the Emo-corn.

You: Long time no see.
Me: Well, I don't see you guys just type on a white page.
You: You know what I meant, where have you been?

See, I've been on this faded, stained micro-fiber couch trying to mentally plan out what the next move is. Something I keep private is our struggles, and the thing is when under stress I internalize, thinking I'm the only one going through it. That's why I go silent, I don't want to post my life problems and bring the whole world down with them.

      In this world we are always stuck at a crossroads, big or small we are left in the middle of a dusty plains. Some people are lucky and pick the right way, they carry on and tell their story about how they made in out. Then there is the group of people who end up picking the road that seems right, but when then start to walk it the dirt starts to darken and the scenery starts to shift, making their head spin, their chest tighten and the people around them fade. That's the turn we made, the one we felt was right. That doesn't mean is was a bad choice, it just has more consequences. 
      
     If spilling my life was easy I'd do it everyday... These few years have been rough, and at times I feel I should just stop blogging. I feel I can't keep myself consistent, afraid of saying something wrong. My life is messy, very, very messy. In the same breath I am so grateful for each breath I can take, and just like thousands of people I sometimes get lost in the dark thoughts. I wish they bottled Mr. Clean for that... Can you image if they did that?

     I am also very frustrated at my book, when I went back to outlining I came to sad realization my characters are set on growing up and changing the story, it's a never ending urge to punch them in the face, if they were real and actually had faces. It's hard enough making up my own mind, now I have to help a room full of toddlers that only live in my brain, it's not like I can walk away and lock myself in the bathroom and have a few minutes of peace in a bubble bath. Oh no, as I'm in the bath making a bubble beard there they are with their sharpies, scribbling on the wall, the sharpies being their opinion and the wall my brain. Writing, even outlining is seriously unrewarding at times. 

     And even though I sound sad keep in mind, this is real stuff my brain and emotions are going through, this as the cheapest therapy I can afford.

    I am so grateful to you, even though "you" is a character created by me to get myself talking. Haha...
Okay inner unicorn is done, I wish you a good night.

P.s. I'm calling my emo side Emo-corn (like emo unicorn.)