I'm not a beauty blogger nor am I a hair blogger, these are just a pictures that make my inner unicorn happy.

So being apart of the teen rip tide I tend to have a long, love hate relationship with my hair. I'm also very artistic, and since I can't draw very well I use my hair as a canvas. I know, I know everyone with crazy hair says that. Unfortunately with money being non-existent, I have been filling my Pinterest board with pictures that inspire the crap out of me. I'm not a beauty blogger nor am I a hair blogger, these are just a pictures that make my inner unicorn happy.  I tried my hand at "styling" the pictures with different elements. 

**Disclaimer, I do NOT own any of these, I found them all on Pinterest. :)

Today's theme? Green/blue/mint/ whatever sneaks in there.

Let's chat with the Emo-corn.

You: Long time no see.
Me: Well, I don't see you guys just type on a white page.
You: You know what I meant, where have you been?

See, I've been on this faded, stained micro-fiber couch trying to mentally plan out what the next move is. Something I keep private is our struggles, and the thing is when under stress I internalize, thinking I'm the only one going through it. That's why I go silent, I don't want to post my life problems and bring the whole world down with them.

      In this world we are always stuck at a crossroads, big or small we are left in the middle of a dusty plains. Some people are lucky and pick the right way, they carry on and tell their story about how they made in out. Then there is the group of people who end up picking the road that seems right, but when then start to walk it the dirt starts to darken and the scenery starts to shift, making their head spin, their chest tighten and the people around them fade. That's the turn we made, the one we felt was right. That doesn't mean is was a bad choice, it just has more consequences. 
      
     If spilling my life was easy I'd do it everyday... These few years have been rough, and at times I feel I should just stop blogging. I feel I can't keep myself consistent, afraid of saying something wrong. My life is messy, very, very messy. In the same breath I am so grateful for each breath I can take, and just like thousands of people I sometimes get lost in the dark thoughts. I wish they bottled Mr. Clean for that... Can you image if they did that?

     I am also very frustrated at my book, when I went back to outlining I came to sad realization my characters are set on growing up and changing the story, it's a never ending urge to punch them in the face, if they were real and actually had faces. It's hard enough making up my own mind, now I have to help a room full of toddlers that only live in my brain, it's not like I can walk away and lock myself in the bathroom and have a few minutes of peace in a bubble bath. Oh no, as I'm in the bath making a bubble beard there they are with their sharpies, scribbling on the wall, the sharpies being their opinion and the wall my brain. Writing, even outlining is seriously unrewarding at times. 

     And even though I sound sad keep in mind, this is real stuff my brain and emotions are going through, this as the cheapest therapy I can afford.

    I am so grateful to you, even though "you" is a character created by me to get myself talking. Haha...
Okay inner unicorn is done, I wish you a good night.

P.s. I'm calling my emo side Emo-corn (like emo unicorn.) 

Let the haters hate.

Now I was going to blog about my new hair, I then started to research about how to make my blog better, how to improve it, not just for me but for you guys. I stumbled upon a post about getting more Blog traffic, and as I read it something bugged me, a lot.
She said that viewers can sniff out a faker, one just looking for money.
I don't know why this bugged me, maybe my self conscious tendencies kicked in and I started to second guess myself. "Am I poo?" And then I thought "Nah, I'm just learning and living life and writing about it which is hard." I started to think about it, I looked at her beautiful blog and spunky personalty. I know that anything I want to have, anything I want to accomplish is going to be hard because I'm as sub zero. I'm like that kid in dodge ball that got all the balls thrown at her whole body.
I want you guys to know that I am serious about this and am not out for the money, I mean some money would help but that not the point I'm here to create a community of people. I also want to be there for people going trough a hard time, I see so many people reaching out and not having that person to talk to, I want to be that person. I'm not good a writing mushy heart felt stuff, it wigs me out. But to end this blog I give you the gif that made me laugh the hardest today.