I'm not a beauty blogger nor am I a hair blogger, these are just a pictures that make my inner unicorn happy.

So being apart of the teen rip tide I tend to have a long, love hate relationship with my hair. I'm also very artistic, and since I can't draw very well I use my hair as a canvas. I know, I know everyone with crazy hair says that. Unfortunately with money being non-existent, I have been filling my Pinterest board with pictures that inspire the crap out of me. I'm not a beauty blogger nor am I a hair blogger, these are just a pictures that make my inner unicorn happy.  I tried my hand at "styling" the pictures with different elements. 

**Disclaimer, I do NOT own any of these, I found them all on Pinterest. :)

Today's theme? Green/blue/mint/ whatever sneaks in there.

Where she's flown.

This week I have been kinda been living my life through pictures, and since yesterday was filled with a long terrible commute downtown in the Georgia heat, taking a nap and chipping my tooth on popcorn. I didn't know what to write so I though I'd post some pictures, some are from deep in my phone, some were taken recently. So as I'm watch The Strain I'm putting this together, I would have had it up last night but Jordan reminded me I had to watermark my pictures.  Which took the whole day.

Exactly...

Here are my unicorn travels:

This is a trail close to meh house. I  Haven't been able to walk, like pull myself off of the couch long enough to put my shoes on and walk so when I did I had to take a picture to celebrate the occasion.




Here we have me rocking the  kung-fu master style. I'm a black belt, no big deal. I ran around the house singing "everybody was kung-fu fighting, HI-YA!"

This is a side road that comes after you cross the bridge going to Tybee Island.




Somehow I take my best pictures in cemeteries, this was after I volunteered at Bonaventure, I was so hot and gross that day but my mom managed to take some awesome pictures, she's a pro.

Another bridge shot, I think it's becoming my thing, I have a ton more on my phone.



And to wrap it up is my "self portrait". My hair was fading into pink and I though why not take a picture. Turns out this ended up being my favorite  picture of my self.








Okay, so this was different from my normal Emo-corn posts, but I liked it even thought it took me forever to get it together, well I will try to pull together another post, until then I hope you guys have a awesome minute, day and week.

Let's chat with the Emo-corn.

You: Long time no see.
Me: Well, I don't see you guys just type on a white page.
You: You know what I meant, where have you been?

See, I've been on this faded, stained micro-fiber couch trying to mentally plan out what the next move is. Something I keep private is our struggles, and the thing is when under stress I internalize, thinking I'm the only one going through it. That's why I go silent, I don't want to post my life problems and bring the whole world down with them.

      In this world we are always stuck at a crossroads, big or small we are left in the middle of a dusty plains. Some people are lucky and pick the right way, they carry on and tell their story about how they made in out. Then there is the group of people who end up picking the road that seems right, but when then start to walk it the dirt starts to darken and the scenery starts to shift, making their head spin, their chest tighten and the people around them fade. That's the turn we made, the one we felt was right. That doesn't mean is was a bad choice, it just has more consequences. 
      
     If spilling my life was easy I'd do it everyday... These few years have been rough, and at times I feel I should just stop blogging. I feel I can't keep myself consistent, afraid of saying something wrong. My life is messy, very, very messy. In the same breath I am so grateful for each breath I can take, and just like thousands of people I sometimes get lost in the dark thoughts. I wish they bottled Mr. Clean for that... Can you image if they did that?

     I am also very frustrated at my book, when I went back to outlining I came to sad realization my characters are set on growing up and changing the story, it's a never ending urge to punch them in the face, if they were real and actually had faces. It's hard enough making up my own mind, now I have to help a room full of toddlers that only live in my brain, it's not like I can walk away and lock myself in the bathroom and have a few minutes of peace in a bubble bath. Oh no, as I'm in the bath making a bubble beard there they are with their sharpies, scribbling on the wall, the sharpies being their opinion and the wall my brain. Writing, even outlining is seriously unrewarding at times. 

     And even though I sound sad keep in mind, this is real stuff my brain and emotions are going through, this as the cheapest therapy I can afford.

    I am so grateful to you, even though "you" is a character created by me to get myself talking. Haha...
Okay inner unicorn is done, I wish you a good night.

P.s. I'm calling my emo side Emo-corn (like emo unicorn.) 

Unicorn girl talks to herself

Hey my Headcases!

      So since getting a new laptop I thought I'd blog more but even I shock myself at how I let things fall to the wayside. I've been also working on other things like my book. Also a lot of the time I just have sad depressing things to say, I mean I could say them but even you guys may need a Valium. We are in the transition of trying to get out the house we are living in, but with that we are unsure if we wanna move to South Carolina or if we want to stay in Georgia we also don't have the money to move or stay here so that's one of my main stresses. We also have the air out in the house which in the heat of Georgia is like baking inside your own house. Also people coming in my house gives me extreme anxiety. I'm pretty sure everything gives me anxiety, even bug bites stress me out.
The book and blog and everything else have been put on stand by due to how life being a vortex of crazy.
*Update, I had to stop writing because the A/C guy came. It's all good I locked myself in my room with the pup and waited, turned out it was just a burnt out wire.

      My sister and I started a band, every time I say that out loud I think of the scene from Scott Pilgrim Vs The world.
Ramona: You have a band?
Scott: Yes, we're terrible please come?
And being a super fan I didn't even have to look that up. Points for me. I also just looked back on an old post and realized that I used the same quote and also mentioned I was in a band, way to be original Jaxx, your unicorn brain is getting mushy...  I managed to pull enough money together to by my first guitar, I guess that's how it starts, broke with a guitar. I was actually making a different post for that. :)

     The book is still on a roll I just stuck in the "I didn't outline now it's biting me in the butt" part of writing. Currently I'm writing about my antagonist that makes me see him a different light, it left me confused like my story wasn't confusing enough. But that's the cool thing about writing anti-heroes and villains together, they are constantly bouncing off each other and have me asking who is the real bad guy here?
Okay, I think I've given you guys a lot of random to handle.

You: So you just going to leave again when things get tough?
Me: No, I uh- don't plan on it.
You: Sure, we'll see.
Me: Okay, I'll just end this here.

Let the haters hate.

Now I was going to blog about my new hair, I then started to research about how to make my blog better, how to improve it, not just for me but for you guys. I stumbled upon a post about getting more Blog traffic, and as I read it something bugged me, a lot.
She said that viewers can sniff out a faker, one just looking for money.
I don't know why this bugged me, maybe my self conscious tendencies kicked in and I started to second guess myself. "Am I poo?" And then I thought "Nah, I'm just learning and living life and writing about it which is hard." I started to think about it, I looked at her beautiful blog and spunky personalty. I know that anything I want to have, anything I want to accomplish is going to be hard because I'm as sub zero. I'm like that kid in dodge ball that got all the balls thrown at her whole body.
I want you guys to know that I am serious about this and am not out for the money, I mean some money would help but that not the point I'm here to create a community of people. I also want to be there for people going trough a hard time, I see so many people reaching out and not having that person to talk to, I want to be that person. I'm not good a writing mushy heart felt stuff, it wigs me out. But to end this blog I give you the gif that made me laugh the hardest today.

"I____ joint this band."

I was planning on blogging then I went onto YouTube...
30 minutes later and I am ready.
I just got distracted again. okay I'm ready.
This week has been a whirlwind, the car made it's way back to us and is still having problems starting, the shop wanted another two-hundred dollars to find out what's wrong with her. And that money we don't have, we're still trying to get our ducks in a row for this month.
But I'm not freaking out, I want to, I would LOVE to kick and scream but I have stuff that has to get done and I if have a hissy fit then that stuff is going to be put on hold.

Story Of My Life, Bro. 

Oh my sister and I started a band we're terrible. Please come.
*Scott Pilgrim reference.
No but we did start one, it was one of those nights we were up to late, she told me earlier I could sing well, my ego was inflated and I was like how else am I going to meet my future drummer husband? I've always wanted to be in a band and so did she so we were like where do we sign up? Turns out we just ended up signing a piece of paper that says "I____ joint this band."
The funny thing is that we both suffer extreme social anxiety and the future of us playing live will need tons of Valium. She's learning piano and I'm on vocals, I would like to learn guitar but that costs money, I will get my hands on one it just takes time. But I love it, it feels good to be working with her, and when we're in practice together we can screw up we laugh at each other and that's important. She is definitely the Dave Grohl to my Kurt Cobain, she puts up with my crazy ideas and moodiness.
Okay I think this was a good blog?